purse purge

already running late, “Fuck!”
i can’t find this fucking receipt
or my keys
or my cash
but i found these old ass Plan B
pills
and these other pills
(might as well take them)
gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp;
okay, that was a lot of pills,
but it’ll be worth it, besides,
this used condom in my purse
suggests i need to take as many
as possible to avoid a doc appointment.
a single key; Mace; knife; toothbrush;
loofa (weird); empty wallet; department
store reward cards; expired gym membership;
UGH! Wait! Finally found what I was looking for:
My gun, so I can go shoot this mother fucker,
for putting this condom in my purse…bastard.
…or maybe i was saving it for later; either way,
he deserves to be shot in the face.

Published by

jonathandeanrichie

Currently living in Vietnam, teaching English, fixing the world's problems.

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