the rat at the gym (not the gym rat)

i went to the gym once;
scrawny, pale, and 140 lbs
soaking wet (6 feet tall),
and attempted to bench press
40 lb dumbbells, with such
confidence that i had to use
two towels on the bench
to keep the confidence from
ruining the pleather covering.

eeeYaaawwww!
i raised those mother fuckers
up above my chest, eyes fixated
on my accomplishment…
and then my pupils begin
to scamper, running for the
nearest escape.
apparently, my arms also scurry
for their life; the weights drop upon
my chest and face, almost compromising
my money maker.
despite the embarrassment and good laugh
my friends had at my moment of great feat,
i realized at that moment,
that i’d never fuck a woman in serious shape.
Meh, worse things could happen to guys like me.

Published by

jonathandeanrichie

Currently living in Vietnam, teaching English, fixing the world's problems.

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