death by baptism

it took me years to realize
that waking up every morning
was the worst thing that
could happen to me.

i only wanted to sleep
with no dreams
no thoughts
no breathing
no oxygen.

but i’m haunted by visions
of unknown moments
of forgetful memories
of regrettable decisions.

take my hand, cradle my head,
dip me underneath the water
and let me drown to the sound
of nothingness…please.

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Recently moved back to the States after living 16 months in Vietnam. I write to remove the thoughts trapped in the cobwebs of my psyche before the spider envelopes me whole.

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