“How am I not keeping it together?
I don’t understand.
I’m perfectly calm.
And getting things done!”
she tapped her keyboard vigorously through the IM
but all i could think about was hooking up
with her boss lady; the one with the husband
and kid pics plastered all over her office.
I NEED YOU TO DO ME A FAVOR.
GIVE ME ALL THE INFORMATION
FOR THIS PARTICULAR ASSOCIATE
INCLUDING ALL OF THEIR CORRESPONDENCE.”
this one types in all CAPS to ensure i know
she means business, but i ignore her just
as easily as i ignore the other one; still thinking
about that boss lady…
they group IM me, apparently thinking this will
engage me (or annoy me) enough to respond
to their ridiculous requests, whatever they might be;
i am still not paying attention to them;
i’m still focused on that well-fit dress; those
five-inch stilettos, manicured nails,
flowing hair with the bangs,
skin that shines like a star and as smooth
as the space in between; not to mention
that ass – that ass doh!
i decide to finally IM them back with a conclusive
response and that special stalker emoji: “Shhhhhhhut it!
i think i’m finally in love!” ♥ ◊
um, so yeah, the IM system is monitored and i
was fired that Friday (they JUST had to let me finish out the week).
instant message to instant love to instant unemployment.