the cataclysmic storm approaches Florida’s shores,
swift as the cottonmouth scurrying through the Everglades,
with lightning striking down upon us heathens;
thunderous roars mask the screams of death
as mother nature invokes martial law,
punishing us for despicable treasonous acts
warranting death by earth’s firing squad.
shiiiiiiit, i ain’t scared; i’ll still frack the shit out of you;
i’m a mother nature fucker.