snap chat

A phenomenon

just occurred

in these modern times

and for this antiquated

and

old

man.

 

I just had seven…count ‘em:

SEVEN

views on my snap chat.

 

The girl at the bar

apparently, a playmate

but who could tell these days

in this town of tans

and fake tans

and faker tits

 

But I reached the desired number

of

seven.  Seven views.

 

Just imagine

a

one hundred

thousand dollar

donation

from each.

 

I need another drink

and maybe, just maybe

an eighth snap chat view

 

My life would be complete

and future generations

would bow down

and worship

 

like the old days,

when Zeus cleaned the floors.

asparagus

the stalk;

nobody wants

to consume

that portion of

the asparagus.

 

I think I ate

at least

thirty pieces of

asparagus tips.

 

My piss smells like asparagus;

but surprisingly, it’s not green.

 

By happenstance, a woman;

neat and delicate and sweet

drinks one too many at the

local pub, where I’m staggering;

 

and we frolic without

our clothes

into my silk sheets.

 

What I didn’t know…

is that she swallows;

and all I could think about

was that if

my

asparagus

was

prepared

properly.