lady determined

Uptight
Tight-lipped
Pretentious
Idealist
Pedantic
Finicky

Set in her ways with no smile
Can’t be without a man
Or life is a mistrial.

Files and files of every wrong
Committed by everyone.

Meticulously prepped for the
moments
unkept.

Your Jane Austen vision
of life and love and romance
will not be trampled upon
despite man’s best efforts
to break you down.

I applaud your vigorous
determination;
but in the end,
you will lose the battle
and
the war.

Heads up:
all men are worthless
after a year or two.

dinner

unresponsive to what you’re
spouting,
I continue to fade
in
and
out

the hummingbird
floats
upon the kitchen
sink window
staring
at me
questions in its eyes

wings flutter
seeking answers
for questions that can’t
be answered.
a feeder can’t take the attention away
from the human
being
that usurps
the moment
trying
to
capitalize on the moment
in which
it has
the
control.

As it sits floating in purview
of my eyeline,
it
has
a heart
attack
and
finally
collapses…

Not enough meat for dinner.

addiction

so I may be addicted
to attention
but there are other
things that
I’m addicted to…

there is something about
making
a
situation awkward
that enthralls me
and my callous way
of life.

addiction is overrated
and by that
I mean
that people
care too much
about other people.

Who the fuck are you?

Do you.
I’m gonna do me.
You’re gonna do me.
#lowlife
And then you’ve hit
below rock bottom…
beneath the rock…
gotta dig you up…
underneath the rock…

You rise, Lazarus style,
dirty, just the way
we like you.

So yeah,
I’m addicted to a lot
of stuff, which apparently
includes resurrection
and dirt
and sexual deviancy.

forgiveness

I can’t stand you!
Is what she utters as
she slams the door,
bags in hand
looking as beautiful as ever
so I can’t take her words
seriously
because her beauty captivates
me and allures me:

I can only focus on the positives.

Weren’t there negatives?

God damn, she’s gorgeous
and has the lips that could only
have been created by a deviant
deity.

I’m constantly seduced by her
without her even being present
or speaking to me
or thinking of me
or acknowledging me.

I’m fascinated.
I should spend some time in the mountains.
Find me a bear.
Like Leo
and hole up in a dead horse.

Maybe that’ll take my mind
off of her; but then again,
horse guts…

Thank goodness for
incognito web browsing.

lung

Damn!
The chimney smoke bellows
out
the slight crack at the bottom
of
the front door.

Camels?
Newports?
Marlboros?
Kools?
305s?

No, no, that’s not the odor
I recognize
because this distinct smell
elicits particular memories
which are memorialized
in vehicles, walls, carpets
and most importantly
my
mind,
or what’s left of it.

I’m still standing here
savoring the glorious
and delicious air-flavor.

An idea:
I was going to buy a bag
but
instead:
I put my nose to the crack
at the bottom of the door;
inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

I got what I needed
and
now my mind is right.

Restless

Restless
I’m kicking
tossing and turning
waiting to be
extracted
from the womb…
And directly placed
into the workforce
where
I’ll have
restless nights:
One after another
kicking
tossing and turning.

I’m alone
In this world
In this bed
In my head
except for
this phone
which provides
me solace
for the moment
until it doesn’t.
And I drift
Away
Away
Away
until you can’t
see me anymore,
but trust me:
I’m still kicking
tossing and turning
Restless
heart burning
for the feckless:
But adrift
Aloof
And faceless.