i picked her up

at the travelling



(yeah, there is such a thing),


lines off the

funny mirrors


carnie threesomes


cotton candy bushes


fried goods


we’re all part of the session

where we learned a valuable




that some things

shouldn’t be mixed


like whips, tigers,

and orgies


nor can they be won

by tossing

oversized balls

into undersized



or aiming syrup

at the

clown’s mouth,


testing my strength

consuming the weight


flopping around in the cage


down and out

and over the hill


put out to pasture

put out to pasture.



distractions and reminders

blinking lights everywhere,


flood my devices

like a 10.0 magnitude


in the Pacific Ocean,

tidal wave sweeping

me away

into an abyss

of loneliness,

but i keep my head above water

looking for the next blinking light,

the one that is there to save me

from myself,

reflecting upon the last shot

of absinthe that took me to this spot

fortified by my hedonistic ways

and the security guard who is always there

to argue with the McDonald’s delivery guy

about the toppings on my Big Mac

and the sides I requested,

which she did without request.

lips and tongue

in spots

that are lovely

and fun.

i’ll just lay here on the patio,

smoking a cigarette

contemplating my next move;

living next to the homeless guy

sharing stories of a storied past,

with fancy socks, but

without fancy shoes.

we’ve been laced up

and tied together with ripped cloth

to remind us

of a life once lived.


just anything

I can sit here and type thoughts

about love and pain

for real


for fun

but I’m here doing it,

sitting here

not doing what you’re doing,

whatever it is you’re doing,

because I have thoughts that need

to be released into the wild

like zoo animals

lookin’ for reality




fresh food


I also want to consume

everything in my reach

and give you everything

I have,

which is nearly nothing,

but it is something,

which may be more

than what you had before reading


and that’s what I have to give you…


and probably an STD,

but the doctor hasn’t gotten back to me yet,

so in the meantime,

think of something witty

or smart

or not

and keep it to yourself

like you usually do…

or share it to social media

praising your deity

as your source of strength

when in fact

you need everyone’s approval

for your strength,

because in the end,

we’re all narcissist

and need approval.

I can at least admit it,

which makes me

the greatest

narcissist of all.



One touch

I knew then,

when your hand

hung on for that

extra second

and our fingers

refused to depart,

that I knew

the connection

was real.

but the homeless woman

tried to sell us lottery


and I waved her off,

like an annoying insect,

with the buzzing noise of


zipping by,

with eyes,


fixed upon you.

They don’t want to leave

their position.

And why should they?

You’re treasure;

I won the lottery without playing.

But the homeless woman

is still homeless

while I get to call you home.

life just isn’t fair

and I’m surely partly to blame.


loving myself

Once I figured out

how to love myself,

I no longer needed

any. of. you.

Problem is now,

I’m alone


until I can find someone

to love me more than

I do,

I’ll be sharing my stories

with you


only you.

My. One.

My. Only.

My mirror.



i see the flowers sprouting

from her eyes,

over there in the dark corner

of the bar where neon lights

from a hipster beer sign

shine upon the petals,

and it reminds me of you

and all the weeds i had

to poison

because the pulling out

wasn’t working.

tongue twisting

cherry stems,

sucking seeds

cherry cleaning;

i love the taste of cherries,

i love the memory of you,

i hate the taste of new love,

i want my old fermented

familiar twisted and knotted

cherry back … so i can

give it new seed.


just one

i circle around

these square


looking for the elusive one;

one, two, three,

go by

but my eyes are on focused

on the cracks

in the ground

and the dark clouds

in the sky



that trash can is full

but this one is empty.

coffee beans


massage oils


the air with a strange


lifting my spirits to the heavens

while i sip on spirits at club heaven.

perhaps i haven’t found the



because i’ve been limiting

my search


just one.