contradiction

i want you to be

independent,

i want you to

completely rely

on me;

i want you to

succeed financially,

i want you to

financially

depend on me;

i want you to

be sexually pleased,

i’m the only one

that can

make you

“cum”

(and the only one

that ever has);

i want you to

have guy friends,

but i’ll make just

as many girl friends

to ensure equality;

i want you to be showered

with compliments

from random dudes,

i’ll kill them all;

i

just want you to be happy,

but i’m the only one

that can make you

truly

happy.

-JDR-

 

postscript:  This is the thinking that, I think, most guys feel, but never express.  Real talk: Live your best life! (just make sure it’s with me.) … and only with me.

One touch

I knew then,

when your hand

hung on for that

extra second

and our fingers

refused to depart,

that I knew

the connection

was real.

but the homeless woman

tried to sell us lottery

tickets

and I waved her off,

like an annoying insect,

with the buzzing noise of

motorbikes

zipping by,

with eyes,

Eyes,

fixed upon you.

They don’t want to leave

their position.

And why should they?

You’re treasure;

I won the lottery without playing.

But the homeless woman

is still homeless

while I get to call you home.

life just isn’t fair

and I’m surely partly to blame.

-JDR-

It’s July 2017

I’ve been reading my ‘published’ poems on my timeline from last year and it would be an understatement to say that I was in a dark crooked place.  With that said, I find the writings interesting and important for my self-reflection.  Most of us don’t maintain a journal about our daily musings or document what happened to us or how we reacted to something on a particular day.  I took a bit of a personal/professional risk publishing what I was thinking, but I don’t regret the decision at all (nor should you regret any decision since you should take that opportunity to learn from mistakes).  Although some (or most) of what I wrote could be construed as vile or offensive, the words were in my head, and instead of keeping those thoughts and feelings trapped where they would fester, ferment, foment, and eventually lead to an event that couldn’t be ‘unliked’ or ‘deleted’, I decided to post them to the world.  The responses were certainly mixed, but knowing that some people responded and related made me feel less alone.  Considering we’re tribal creatures, there may not be anything more important than connection to someone that feels something similar.  (sidebar: this is one reason why politics can be so divisive, but that’s a topic for another day.)

 

So, as I continue to evolve and my writings search for new inspiration, I challenge you to self-analyze, write, read, evolve and avoid becoming complacent.  You’d be doing yourself a disservice.  Actually, not only you, but your friends and family that care about you and look to you for stability and guidance.  You may not be able to offer the world what a person in an extremely powerful position can offer, but you may be able to offer one person something that could change their life.  Never forget about that one person, because that one person may turn out to be the one person that can change the world.