compilation of some Tinder poems

if you want me to swipe

left because

I smoke,

drink,

and digest the unknown,

I appreciate

the heads up

on how fucking

boring you are.

-JDR-

 

tell me your height again

especially compared

to that drugged up

docile tiger

you’re cuddled up with

while contemplating

fucking

ladyboys in Bangkok

in your bro t-shirt

exposed

filtered muscles

cuz I just can’t get

enough of

your fuck boy shit.

-JSF-

 

can those yoga

poses be used

for proper use?

a vegetarian as well?

a vegan too?!

What are your thoughts

on sperm?

And since you

have no pictures

in your profile

with your face,

I’ll just assume

you’re the prettiest

person alive.

It doesn’t matter,

i’m just addicted to

the matches at this point.

-JDR-

 

Unleash the beast

with a gentle swipe

and the tip tap tapping of a code,

I find the flame and hold it down,

wait until it wobbles around.

indecision holds me,

tickles me lightly

(because really, I’m just playing at feelings)

So in the end, I let it go.

You’re special, but not

special enough for me

to delete Tinder;

besides,

my girlfriend doesn’t know

I’m on here.

-HS-

 

swiped left,

flatmate swiped left too;

nightly tradition,

until

one night,

a match from

the same girl.

we now both

share the same

STD.

Thanks, Tinder.

-JDR-

 

You’re on here,

to make friends?

Don’t you know

what people want to do?

That’s right,

unimaginable things,

to you, on you, with you,

without you.

They don’t care

about your feelings

or bloody interests.

To be blunt,

they just want,

your cunt

-BCT-

contemporary dating poem #21

contemporary dating

waiting on the Uber

driver

who doesn’t understand

the importance of

getting where I needed to be

a few minutes ago

so I’m sending messages

through a myriad

communicative mediums

because I can’t remember

if she’s international

or domestic

or other worldly

but I’m in a maroon suit

waiting and waiting

listening to ESL tests

and Kanye West

with the air-con

blowing on me

like you will be

momentarily

making you forget

about those

in the past

to give you a present

of the present

as the rest

of the world

burns down

as we orally

exchange smoke

choke, choke.

it’s all burnt down

as we fall asleep

in

stained soaked sheets.

-JDR-

distractions and reminders

blinking lights everywhere,

notifications

flood my devices

like a 10.0 magnitude

earthquake

in the Pacific Ocean,

tidal wave sweeping

me away

into an abyss

of loneliness,

but i keep my head above water

looking for the next blinking light,

the one that is there to save me

from myself,

reflecting upon the last shot

of absinthe that took me to this spot

fortified by my hedonistic ways

and the security guard who is always there

to argue with the McDonald’s delivery guy

about the toppings on my Big Mac

and the sides I requested,

which she did without request.

lips and tongue

in spots

that are lovely

and fun.

i’ll just lay here on the patio,

smoking a cigarette

contemplating my next move;

living next to the homeless guy

sharing stories of a storied past,

with fancy socks, but

without fancy shoes.

we’ve been laced up

and tied together with ripped cloth

to remind us

of a life once lived.

-JDR-

looking in all the wrong spots

i was looking for inspiration

everywhere –

the corner of the wall,

the random mucus on the sidewalk,

the guy pissing on the side of the road,

the fake plants that are somehow dying,

the handles on the laundry basket,

random figurines,

numbers on foreign currency,

the window washer,

the window washer’s chemicals,

the window washer’s death,

social media posts,

memories of old flames,

right and left swipes,

marijuana pipes,

but i found it where i usually do –

nowhere and everywhere

and in your eyes

and in the girl’s eyes behind you,

because one is not enough

and two is barely doing the trick,

but it’s better than the mucus

on the street …

unless that wasn’t mucus.

-JDR-

just anything

I can sit here and type thoughts

about love and pain

for real

or

for fun

but I’m here doing it,

sitting here

not doing what you’re doing,

whatever it is you’re doing,

because I have thoughts that need

to be released into the wild

like zoo animals

lookin’ for reality

and

freedom

and

fresh food

but

I also want to consume

everything in my reach

and give you everything

I have,

which is nearly nothing,

but it is something,

which may be more

than what you had before reading

this

and that’s what I have to give you…

that,

and probably an STD,

but the doctor hasn’t gotten back to me yet,

so in the meantime,

think of something witty

or smart

or not

and keep it to yourself

like you usually do…

or share it to social media

praising your deity

as your source of strength

when in fact

you need everyone’s approval

for your strength,

because in the end,

we’re all narcissist

and need approval.

I can at least admit it,

which makes me

the greatest

narcissist of all.

-JDR-

 

One touch

I knew then,

when your hand

hung on for that

extra second

and our fingers

refused to depart,

that I knew

the connection

was real.

but the homeless woman

tried to sell us lottery

tickets

and I waved her off,

like an annoying insect,

with the buzzing noise of

motorbikes

zipping by,

with eyes,

Eyes,

fixed upon you.

They don’t want to leave

their position.

And why should they?

You’re treasure;

I won the lottery without playing.

But the homeless woman

is still homeless

while I get to call you home.

life just isn’t fair

and I’m surely partly to blame.

-JDR-

loving myself

Once I figured out

how to love myself,

I no longer needed

any. of. you.

Problem is now,

I’m alone

And

until I can find someone

to love me more than

I do,

I’ll be sharing my stories

with you

And

only you.

My. One.

My. Only.

My mirror.

-JDR-